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How to Have an Empty Attic:
1. Have a super-mouse infestation from leaving an open bag of field corn in the garage.
2. Conquer said super-mice.
3. Find rat-turds when you go up to retrieve the Christmas Tree.
4. Buy new tree and refuse to go in attic for six months.
5. Make appointment to have a garage sale with neighbor because she’s an expert and the very idea of selling or bartering makes you want to drink…heavily.
6. On a 102 degree day, unload entire contents of attic. (The temperature is very important!)
7. Shop vac the rat-turds and admire the empty beauty of it all. Relax till lunch. Have a taco.
8. Sort the crap into five piles: Stays Downstairs, Un-Recyclable Garbage, Recyclable Garbage, Garage Sale, Returning to Attic….remembering the temperature up there.
9. Keep only those treasures that are worth a trip back into a bazillion-degree attic.
10. Restock attic, garage sale everything else.
Do It And How 
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