You can do it – Here's how!
Category: Communicate it
This is not a How To – It’s a How Not To! I appreciate these people who try things and fail and are willing to put their failures up for others too see. We can all learn from the success and failures of others. And maybe have a few laughs too! Click HERE for other fails!
I also tried this recipe and mine kinda turned out the same. But it was really yummy though!
Reblogged from Hitchedmag: This article will go over some tips on how to graciously accept an apology. As a reminder, an apology should contain some key components such as sincerity, remorse and the acceptance of responsibility, as well as an action plan for the future. Although there is no guarantee that the person apologizing may not offend you again, there is value and healing in forgiveness; and accepting an apology is a critical step in moving forward in your relationship.
1. It won’t happen overnight. Just because you receive an apology doesn’t mean you are automatically ready to forgive and forget. You can acknowledge the apology as an outward attempt of goodwill even though you are aware that there is much work to be done to reconcile the issue.
2. Be aware of your body language. When listening to the apology avoid crossing your arms, rolling your eyes and mumbling “You bet you’re @#* your sorry!” under your breadth.
3. If you are not yet ready to accept an apology, a better option might be to say, “I appreciate your effort to acknowledge your mistake. It is going to take some time for me to process what has transpired.” Honesty, without the sting.
4. Allow the person making the apology adequate time to speak without challenging, interrupting or criticizing what the person is saying.
5. Listen and watch carefully. Your intuition generally tells you if the apology is sincere. If you sense the other person is just going through the motions don’t disregard you own feelings and overlook your own good judgment.
6. If the person is a repeat offender and you have no intention of forgiving or forgetting, tell them and give them the reason. “I can’t accept an apology from you based on your past track record.” If you are, however, still hopeful that the relationship could be worked out with some counseling or other help, give the person specific steps you would require in order for them to gain back your trust. Be firm and specific with your demands.
7. Don’t accept an apology that contains the words “but” or “if you would have only” in the content. This type of an apology is not an apology at all, but an excuse without remorse and an attempt to justify a wrong-doing.
8. Quit rehearsing the past. If you have decided to accept an apology, time has passed and the offense has not been repeated, stop bringing up the offense every time you get in an argument. It is damaging to yourself and your marriage to continue to harbor ill will and hurt feelings over a mistake that is behind you. Focus on the present and future rather than the past.
9. Keep your business to yourself. Although friends and family mean well and are more than willing to give you advice, you are the only one that can make a decision whether or not to accept an apology and forgive.
Click HERE for possibly the most important piece of advice in this article!
Via PhilAgre
Computer people are fine human beings, but they do a lot of harm in the ways they “help” other people with their computer problems. Now that we’re trying to get everyone online, I thought it might be helpful to write down everything I’ve been taught about helping people use computers.
First you have to tell yourself some things:
Nobody is born knowing this stuff.
You’ve forgotten what it’s like to be a beginner.
If it’s not obvious to them, it’s not obvious.
A computer is a means to an end. The person you’re helping probably cares mostly about the end. This is reasonable.
Their knowledge of the computer is grounded in what they can do and see — “when I do this, it does that”. They need to develop a deeper understanding, but this can only happen slowly — and not through abstract theory but through the real, concrete situations they encounter in their work.
Beginners face a language problem: they can’t ask questions because they don’t know what the words mean, they can’t know what the words mean until they can successfully use the system, and they can’t successfully use the system because they can’t ask questions.
You are the voice of authority. Your words can wound.
Computers often present their users with textual messages, but the users often don’t read them.
By the time they ask you for help, they’ve probably tried several things. As a result, their computer might be in a strange state. This is natural.
They might be afraid that you’re going to blame them for the problem.
The best way to learn is through apprenticeship — that is, by doing some real task together with someone who has a different set of skills.
Your primary goal is not to solve their problem. Your primary goal is to help them become one notch more capable of solving their problem on their own. So it’s okay if they take notes.
Most user interfaces are terrible. When people make mistakes it’s usually the fault of the interface. You’ve forgotten how many ways you’ve learned to adapt to bad interfaces.
Knowledge lives in communities, not individuals. A computer user who’s part of a community of computer users will have an easier time than one who isn’t.
Having convinced yourself of these things, you are more likely to follow some important rules:
Don’t take the keyboard. Let them do all the typing, even if it’s slower that way, and even if you have to point them to every key they need to type. That’s the only way they’re going to learn from the interaction.
Find out what they’re really trying to do. Is there another way to go about it?
Maybe they can’t tell you what they’ve done or what happened. In this case you can ask them what they are trying to do and say, “Show me how you do that”.
Attend to the symbolism of the interaction. Try to squat down so your eyes are just below the level of theirs. When they’re looking at the computer, look at the computer. When they’re looking at you, look back at them.
When they do something wrong, don’t say “no” or “that’s wrong”. They’ll often respond by doing something else that’s wrong. Instead, just tell them what to do and why.
Try not to ask yes-or-no questions. Nobody wants to look foolish, so their answer is likely to be a guess. “Did you attach to the file server?” will get you less information than “What did you do after you turned the computer on?”.
Explain your thinking. Don’t make it mysterious. If something is true, show them how they can see it’s true. When you don’t know, say “I don’t know”. When you’re guessing, say “let’s try … because …”. Resist the temptation to appear all-knowing. Help them learn to think the problem through.
Be aware of how abstract your language is. “Get into the editor” is abstract and “press this key” is concrete. Don’t say anything unless you intend for them to understand it. Keep adjusting your language downward towards concrete units until they start to get it, then slowly adjust back up towards greater abstraction so long as they’re following you. When formulating a take-home lesson (“when it does this and that, you should try such-and-such”), check once again that you’re using language of the right degree of abstraction for this user right now.
Tell them to really read the messages, such as errors, that the computer generates.
Whenever they start to blame themselves, respond by blaming the computer. Then keep on blaming the computer, no matter how many times it takes, in a calm, authoritative tone of voice. If you need to show off, show off your ability to criticize bad design. When they get nailed by a false assumption about the computer’s behavior, tell them their assumption was reasonable. Tell *yourself* that it was reasonable.
Take a long-term view. Who do users in this community get help from? If you focus on building that person’s skills, the skills will diffuse to everyone else.
Never do something for someone that they are capable of doing for themselves.
Don’t say “it’s in the manual”. (You knew that.)
Do It And How 